Round 2 Reviews

Here are the reviews from round 2 of ABNA. I thought they were more than positive, and again, I am grateful to the reviewers. I especially like the remark about the paragraphs being too long. It makes me wonder if there was nothing else negative they were able to find. (I still took it under advisement.)

ABNA Expert Reviewer

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?

The world building is the strongest element of this piece. It is with the familiar fantasy types of dwarves and elves, but the writer still took time to give the characters, customs and places a quality that while familiar, it did not go unexplained or unadorned. The writer did his/her work in giving Taryn, Murai and Liri and the world they inhabit a unique spin.

What aspect needs the most work?

Some of the paragraphs seemed to go on forever. Some paragraphs probably could be broken into smaller chunks in order for the information to stand out more.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?

While I liked Taryn, Murai and Liri, I still felt a bit like I'd read all of this before. That said, I think there is potential with this writer that the story could be more unique as it unfolds.

ABNA Expert Reviewer

What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?

The entire concept of Middle Earth as an island where elves, dwarves and humans are trained is both intriguing and somewhat unique. There is obviously some mystery about Taryn's parentage (is he part elf/part human or part elf/part dwarf?), we can only hope that it will be revealed as he journeys back to where his parents' homeland.

What aspect needs the most work?

Very hard to criticize anything this well-written.

What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?

Being a long-time fan of hobbits and other citizens of Middle Earth I found this story to be delightful and eagerly await being able to read it in its entirety.